While the Cat's Away the Mice will Play

Cat = Mark

Away = Three day business trip to Indianapolis

Mice = Me, Parker, and Ben

Play = pretending to be on our own vacation- no cooking, no cleaning, no budget

My game plan of going into three days of single parenthood was to pretend we were on vacation and stay out of the house as much as possible. It worked. Mark comes home tonight, and while I missed him, I didn't go crazy like I thought I might.

I pretty much let Parker direct the activities and gave him choices of what we could do. And Ben was along for the ride.

Hanging out with good ole' Chuck E. (Chuck E Cheese is the biggest waste of money ever if you ask me.)

Arizona Museum of Natural History. Parker loved it and has been there a few times before. But I'd actually never been. I want to go back without kids so that I can actually learn and read something. Parker just kept flying thru the place wanting to find the next dinosaur. It flustered me.

Ben's first splash pad experience. He was slow to warm up, but got into it. Parker was running around like a maniac. I couldn't get a picture.

On the way to the splash pad Ben was jibbering and jabbering in the back seat. And when I stopped at a red light Parker says to Ben, "Ben, do you see that red light? That means you have to stop. Now stop talking."

We went to Chick-fil-A one day and In-n-Out the next. Parker told me he wanted to go to In-n-Out by telling me he wanted to go the place that had "chocolate showmakes with green beach trees in them". I felt like a detective trying to figure that one out. But their cups have green palm trees on the outside. How does he know palm trees are on the beach? We have them around here and there's certainly no beach around. We sat outside at In-n-out and Parker decided to "water" the bushes while I was turned away cleaning up Ben. Luckily, everyone laughed and we didn't get asked to leave or cited!

We also went to the zoo, but we're there all the time. Didn't warrant a special picture.

Mark usually gets home from work at 4:00. The first day Mark was gone, at 4:00 on the dot Parker asked where Dad was. I reminded him where he was and how long he would be gone. And Parker said, "No. Dad has to come home and push the buttons that go beep, beep, beep, and then open the door." I guess I never realized that the beep beep beep of the buttons on our keyless entry are the cue for Dad being home. But now I'm just sitting here anxiously waiting for the beep beep beep.

Turns out nothing is mundane

(this was Christmas morning)

I often use the word "mundane" to describe the tasks of stay at home mommyhood. I realized today that there is nothing mundane about my life.

In sacrament meeting Ben was toddling back and forth between us and an older gentlemen's walker. He'd scope it out, touch it, and giggle his way back to our pew. The next thing I know I look over and Ben's hanging like a monkey off the walker.

I also got to hold him while he slept during the last hour of church. That's a rare treat that's really never happened. Primary has kept me from attending to those morning naps on Sunday.

At dinner, Parker suggested we go visit his sunbeams teacher who has been out for 2 weeks. He suspects she's at home resting and thinks she needs our help to rest.

Parker spent about an hour tonight pretending to be Tarzan jumping and twirling around in nothin but his skivvies.

But he wasn't the only one... during FHE Mark asked me if I had "something to hide" because I was the only one wearing more than my skivvies.

During the closing prayer Parker thanked Heavenly Father "for having a mommy and daddy in his house" and asked Heavely Father if he could "go play at Braxton's house".

Ben joined in on our activity of Ring Around the Rosie and giggled non stop when we all fell down. He would take the opportunity to maul us while we were all down; the boy loves to wrestle.

Today, by any other account, was just a regular ole Sunday. No special dinners or occassions, but all these little things are adding up to a day straight from heaven. The 3 handsome gentlemen in the picture above keep my life from being anything but mundane.

Enquiring minds want to know...

I'm lucky that I have so many supportive people around me that are willing to listen. I'm definitely a person that has to process my thoughts outloud (I can never come to decisive conclusion in my head). So each time I get asked about my adjustment to being a stay at home Mom I learn a little bit more about myself.

The simple answer is, I'm enjoying it. I love the amount of time I'm spending with my kids. I love all the ways I'm able to serve my family (and friends) that I wasn't really able to before. I feel like there's a lot more peace in our home. Things are just simple now, and seem to make sense. Surprisingly, (I mean AMAZINGLY) I don't miss my job too terribly much.

(the old office)

So even though I'm happy, and the family is happy- it's still an evolutionary process. Being a Mom is hard (that's a generic understatement, I know.) I've decided that the reason it's so hard is because it requires such a high level of emotional investment.

A month ago, I was split in half. I had this half of me that gave me a sense of accomplishment. I will (not so humbly) admit, that I was good at my job. I was effective, I received a lot of praise, and I was respected. That assurance carried me... pretty much all of me.

Now, all I have to focus on is my parenting. I feel very one dimensional and I've become my own worst enemy. I am constantly mulling over mundane decisions about what the best parent would do... what's the best response, the best defense, the best way to teach, and what I spend the most time freighting over is what's the best use of our time (I'm constantly worried about missed opportunities that are passing me by.) And I'm driving myself crazy! I attribute every tear, tantrum, and misbehavior to my parenting.

I feel a bit like a fish out of water. Which is surprising to me; something I didn't expect considering I'm not new to being a Mom- just new to having it be my only identity. I've received so much training that I know all the textbook answers but I'm missing something. I can't put a word to what it is I'm missing; although I wish I could. It's the part of you that can just let go and do it! Just do it. That's what I need to do. I need to stop thinking about how my kid will be emotionally effected in the long term over how I enforce the rules of High Ho Cherry-o. I need to stop trying to measure my success and stop looking for ways to check off boxes of accomplishment.

As always, easier said than done. I'm open to any feedback, advice, perspectives you have! Please tell me I'm not alone!

Leap of faith that feels more like a cliff jump of terror

I started working for the Healthy Families program six and a half years ago. A newlywed who had just graduated with my bachelors in social work- I was young and naive and ready to save the world one family at a time.


Working for Healthy Families has fulfilled me more than I ever could've known. I like to think I've grown up while working there. I finished grad school, had 2 babies, and entered management during my tenure but what helped me grow the most was the persepctive on life and family that I gained. I've been humbled and taught true gratitude from walking into the homes of so many different families.


I considered myself a "Healthy Families Lifer" and thought I'd be there forever. I knew it took me away from my own family, but found solice in knowing I was helping other families. I believe I was placed in the lives of specific families because we had something to offer each other at that time.


But I've had a nagging feeling that I've tried to shake and just can't. The feeling that it's someone else's turn; someone else should be doing the work I'm doing -and that I am needed somewhere else.

After many sleepless nights, I've resigned my position and will be trying something new. Something that I'm hoping will offer even more fulfillment, although admittedly, I'm not sure it will. But I do know it will have a lasting and far reaching impact. I'm committing myself to my home, to the husband who's starting grad school, and to the 2 little boys that need me most.

I'm less afraid of being a stay at home Mom, and more afraid of losing my identity. I'm not just leaving a job; I'm leaving ME. My biggest struggle is going to be rearranging- figuring out how else to identify myself.

I can't think of too many other times where I've simultaneously experienced so much fear and so much excitment. I avoided making this decision for a long time based on fear. But now, excitement wins out most of the time.

I'm excited to teach my children and want to try to experience life from their perspective.

I hope to strengthen friendships. Be available. Offer service.

It's going to be a journey, we'll see how it ends.

This is how we Christmas

Kicking off the Christmas Season for us was Parker's Holiday Program at preschool:

That's our Parker- refusing to participate. He sat in that chair and looked around as if he had no idea what was going on. Everyone oohed and awed over him thinking he must be shy. (We got Parker's teachers some Sees Candies for Christmas and when he gave the boxes to them he said, "Merry Christmas! Will you share with me?" Yeah, not so shy.

So far, the most exciting part of Christmas for Parker has been the Christmas tree. He ran around the Christmas tree lot pointing at every tree saying, "I want that one! I want that one!"

I wish I could capture in a bottle the look of awe and amazement when we turned the lights on the tree. He helped me put the lights on, and I don't know what he thought was going to happen, but when we turned them on he was stunned! When I tucked him into bed that night, in the sweetest little voice imagineable, he says to me, "Thanks for putting the lights on the tree Mom." I cried and realized that this would probably be the best Christmas ever.

We went to Zoo Lights, which has really improved the last few years.

Parker says, "I'm ready for the snow!" (It's a good thing we won't be around any snow for Christmas.)

And there were a few things we did that I didn't have pictures of. We went and delivered some Christmas goodies. (Which Parker LOVED. When someone opened the door he would scream "Merry Christmas", shove them the plate, and then run into their house. The last few days he's also required that any little snack I give him be on a Christmas plate and that I say, "Merry Christmas" when I hand it to him.) Mark and I went and saw A Christmas Carol at Hale Theatre; LOVED it. My Mom came into town and celebrated Christmas with me and my sister. We had a traditional Ardis Christmas Eve Party.

I also got a traffic ticket which was really exciting. There's a lot of other things to do with $200 right before Christmas.

I feel like we've experienced a lot of Christmas and it isn't even here yet. But it is time! Time to pack up the presents and hit the road! We're spending Christmas with my in-laws this year!

Our recipe for a no fuss Thanksgiving

Low key. That's how we roll over here. Thanksgiving was the 4 of us this year, so we lounged around, took naps, and when we got hungry had a turkey dinner with about 150 people (that we don't know) at Cracker Barrel.

After dinner, we went to golfland where Parker played miniature golf for the first time. I'm surprised it's taken us this long to take him. Mark and I did this all the time in our pre-kid years.

I lasted about 8 holes. I couldn't exactly see the ball. We were the only ones out there, so there was no embarassment to be had when Parker started climbing and jumping all over everything. He made it through about 12 holes before he lost interest.

Golfland has a "Winter Wonderland" course that's all decked out with Christmas decorations. Not holiday decorations, Christmas decorations. I enjoyed it, I was just surprised. Anything religious is usually shunned from business. They even had a nativity.

I really enjoyed Thanksgiving this year. It doesn't get more relaxing than that. Next year though! That'll be my year! I vow to cook my first Thanksgiving dinner. Bring on the stress and the expense of Thanksgiving dinner.

Sooo Original

We put so much thought and effort into our boys' costumes this year, I can't belive it's taken me nearly a month to post a picture.

Two Buzz Lightyears... they were only 2 of the dozen or so at the trunk-or-treat.

While these costumes reflect mine and Mark's enthusiasm about the holiday, Parker was excited beyond excited. He wore his costume every day leading up to Halloween and insisted that his brother put on his Buzz costume as well.

So while they may not have been the most original, it sure was fun because Parker's chronic Buzz lightyear impersonations were priceless. (Until he got to preschool and Buzz Lightyear, Spiderman, Ironman, and Thomas the train (???) all started showing their super hero powers that included beating each other up.) You couldn't help but feel why dressing up is so exciting to little kids.