Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Humor Me... please

So I was walking on the treadmill this morning reading this book:

When I came across a paragraph that I found so funny I laughed out loud. I'm not exactly sure how loud, thanks to my ipod, but loud enough to get the attention of the juggers next to me... who were also listening to their ipods.

"The very first thing you do when your toddler has a frustration tantrum is to pick him up and run from the food court of the mall, the checkout line at Toys R Us or your mother-in-law's best friend's living room. Do not, I repeat, do not attempt to coax or threaten your toddler our of his tantrum in hopes of returning to your former pleasureable activities. You have a grenade on your hands, and the pin has been pulled. Your job, soldier, is to save the civilians by removing the grenade at all costs. Try to hold him tight against you so that you don't suffer too much injury, but how you get him out is not critical. The most important thing is to remove him from all staring eyes and all fragile things that he could hurt or that could hurt him. Don't waste a moment worrying about the impression the two of you are making or being embarassed by this display. I maintain that a mother who is not frequently humilitated by her child is not getting her money's worth out of parenting."



Derald and Jen said...

That gives me such a funny visual of a mom holding her child tight, eyes clenched shut, waiting for an explosion while everyone else is frozen, staring, and wondering what the heck is going on. It might be being a little dramatic to say that you have to get out of anyplace you may be no matter what. But then again, I don't have a toddler yet!

PS. Made the tortellini salad today. DE-LISH!

Janalee said...

mmmmm...we'll go with 10% amusing.

amee said...

Ok. So now you have me L.aughing O.ut L.oud!! Thanks for sharing. Soldier.

Momma_S said...

HYlarious in my mothering opinion!!And appreciated. Doesn't everyone appreciate the mother who doesn't act like everything is just peachy as her toddler screams are breaking the glass (and eardrums around them)??? I can NEVER even imagine Parker having a tantrum. He's too perfect!

Heather said...

I'm with Cheree, "Does Parker ever throw a fit?" I have tried that, leaving the store, etc. when Savanah would loose her mind & I have to say I got tired of ALWAYS having to leave. So, I became the mom that just acted like I was having this wonderful time & I didn't hear this crazy kid screaming and just kept doing what I was doing. Yes, that was me. Thank goodness my other children didn't throw all the fits that Savanah girl threw. But I have to say I LOVE 5! She is now this sweet little girl that loves to help. (Most of the time. She still has moments when she loves to torment her sister.) Hopefully sweet little Parker never does that! Give that little cutie a hug & kiss for me.

Christy said...

He's 15 months and I haven't seen any tantrums yet. Obviously, we have a ways to go. But it doesn't seem in his nature to have a tantrum to this magnitude. Maybe that's why I found it so funny.

Breanne said...


What I want to know was if the author is serious or (my guess:) sarcastic, and then follows it up with how you can't let your child rule you, etc. type of advice. Cause I'm not throwing away an hour's worth of shopping in my grocery cart just to run outside. Stepping aside and quietly holding her? Yes, but sprinting out the door? Hmmmm. Makes for a funny image though!

What say you?